I have spent (more time than I would care to admit) staring at the ominous flashing cursor, on a bright white screen, wondering how on Earth I write several hundred words about
why I became an egg donor.
I’ve been asked a lot and my standard response is a shrug following by a slightly belligerent “why not?”. Because the answer is… for me it was the right thing to do. I have eggs I’m not using, I have a daughter and no plans for her to have any siblings, so why not give my eggs to another? If someone is so desperate to be a parent they’re willing to seek help from an anonymous stranger, surely, they have the best of intentions.
I have seen too many incredible potential parents struggle to get pregnant or find out they can’t have children and I have healthy eggs I’m not using. The process with Altrui (www.altrui.co.uk) was easier than I could have imagined. Especially as donating through a pandemic and national lockdown certainly doesn’t exactly make for an ideal situation, but the regular communication and socially distance appointments made it significantly easier.
I originally got in touch on the 26th February and the procedure was on the 21st September, so only 7 months and three of those months we couldn’t leave the house anyway. One of the biggest shocks I found with the process was the first phone call with Altrui. The person that answered misheard me and when I clarified: “No, I’m looking to be a donor.” she let out such a shocked and happy: “Oh!” I thought she’d misheard again and thought I’d offered her a large cash prize. That should have been my first clue to how rare it is for a woman to offer up a donation. I have detailed my journey on my Instagram stories in hope to offer inspiration.
The hardest part was writing my letter to the egg.
If the child knows they come from a donor egg, and if they chose to find out who I am, then they may read this letter. And the letter may determine whether they choose to seek me out directly. I won’t know for at least 18 years, but I welcome the opportunity. I have been getting to know my father recently and it has helped me understand myself in ways I could have never imagined. I welcome the opportunity to help the child understand themselves more. I will never be their mother, but I am a distant relative.
It didn’t feel real until I got the text saying they’d found a match. There were people out there who were preparing for the fact they might become parents. The hope they must’ve felt was almost palpable. This was confirmed when I received a card from the recipients on the day of the procedure. It was so touching and so heartfelt I sat silently ugly-crying behind the curtains.
Onto the big questions… Would I recommend it? Yes. Would I do it again? I’m planning on doing it again next year. They’re calling in January to start the ball rolling again. I can donate up until 36, so I have more three years to make a few more parents.