I don’t really have any photos about our infertility stuff – that’s because it’s not something I’m particularly comfortable talking about, it’s not something I’m likely to show my mates and doesn’t really feel like something to be proud of.
We’ve had all the tests and it doesn’t look like there’s anything major wrong, but it’s been two years now, we’ve tried supplements and injections, and not even a whiff of success. I say we’ve both tried, but really my contribution is just taking a tablet in the morning - I don’t have to take 20 pills a day, change my diet, cut down exercise, have all the blood tests, or have wands shoved up me. I go to all the appointments and try to make myself useful, but it’s hard not being able to say don’t worry, it’s my turn for the scan today.
Baby announcements really upset my wife. I usually try and get her mind off it. I get them from my friends too, like this one from last week. None of my friends really ask if it upsets me, but that’s probably because I’ve not really told them about any of this stuff. People know we got married a couple of years ago, so obviously people ask if we’re going to have kids. I usually deflect it - we’re busy with work, but yeah sure sometime. My best friends don’t mention it, probably because they’ve guessed, but not because we’ve discussed it. I’m not saying I’d like to spend a whole session at the pub on it, I’d find that very awkward, but it would be nice to know that they know what we’re going through.
Everywhere there’s stuff that makes you a bit sad about it. Our street gets more packed with kids by the month, and there are pregnant people everywhere. It doesn’t really seem fair it’s so easy for them, but then maybe it’s not, maybe they’ve had it tough too, and there are lots of people who aren’t pregnant – maybe that’s because they can’t either.
I’ve heard how fertility problems can be really tough on a relationship, but I suppose a silver lining is we’re stronger than ever. It feels like we’re taking it on as a team, even if she does all the heavy lifting. I think I’ve been supportive, but then I also think I do half the household chores, so maybe there’s more I can do. Each step gets more intensive, more monitoring, bloods, scans etc, so hopefully I’ll be able to step up and pull my weight.